Pistachio Cake for the Greatest Mother of All Time

 Pistachio Cake

Prepare a Duncan Hines yellow cake mix according to package instructions (in two 8 or 9 inch cake pans), except:

-- Add 1 packet minus 1 T (save it aside) of pistachio instant pudding mix to the dry ingredients

--Fold in 175g ground pistachios before baking

--Add some green food coloring and/or almond extract if you want

Pistachio Cream Filling

-- Whip 1 c heavy whipping cream with 1 T pistachio instant pudding mix

-- Whip in as much pistachio cream as it takes to become green and lovely and absolutely delicious

Pistachio Cream Cheese Buttercream

Combine on low speed, than mix on medium high for a full ten minutes, scraping the bowl:

340g butter at room temperature

375g powdered sugar

1 1/2 t vanilla

1/2 t almond extract

120g whipping cream at room temperature

Then add:

112g cream cheese-- not whipped; cold

70g finely ground pistachios or "pistachio" flour

I regret coloring the frosting and do not recommend it.

Pistachio Butter Smoothie (Candy)

Make as for peanut butter smoothie, with:

White chocolate, melted

Pistachio Cream, to taste, stirred into melted white chocolate

Rice Krispies, to taste (or, you know, to texture)

--Add some green food coloring and/or almond extract if you want

Assembly

Pile up the pistachio whipped cream on the bottom layer of the cake. Refrigerate it to firm it up before adding the top layer and frosting.

Ring the top with raspberries and fill the circle in with chopped pistachios.

Do whatever you please with the pistachio butter smoothie.

Two tasty, texturally satisfying legume salads

 1. Garbanzo Salad

You can make a chick pea salad in the style of any creamy mayonnaise-based salad, be it potato, macaroni, chicken, or tuna. You can dress it all at once, cold, but the chick peas do benefit from a two-step dressing, as described here.

Rinse and drain tinned chick peas or cook your own. Cover and heat for a minute or two in the microwave. Meanwhile, make a dressing: Per tin of chickpeas, use approximately 1/4 c mayo, 1/2 t squort of mustard, 1/2t salt, splash of lemon juice or vinegar or pickle brine. Toss with the warm chick peas and refrigerate for several hours. (Yes the mayo will melt and look gross, it's ok). When cool, add diced celery, scallions, and dill. Make creamy with more mayo or sour cream. Season to taste.  You could also add diced cucumber, gherkins, bell pepper, red onion, radish, artichoke hearts, chives, parsley, other herbs, hard boiled eggs, tuna, what have you.

2. Lentil salad with walnut oil 

I adapted this dish, which I loved especially as leftovers, from Martha Rose Shulman at the New York Times. She adapted it from The Paris Cookbook by Patricia Wells. Keep walnut oil, once opened, in the fridge.

I use a 500g packet of cooked lentils from Trader Joe's (or cook your own green puy lentils-- red will break down; the NYTimes recipe says to cook lentils with garlic, bay, onion, and carrot. Make a dressing by whisking together 2.5T red wine vinegar or sherry vinegar, 1.5 T dijon mustard, salt, and 1 fat shallot minced. Then slowly whisk in 1/2 c walnut oil and, if you cooked the lentils yourself, a few tablespoons of the cooking liquid. Toss in lentils (if you warm them up it will help absorb the flavors even if this is served cold). Add 1/4 c chopped parsley and adjust the seasoning. Arrange toasted chopped walnuts on individual portions. (About 2/3 c walnuts for the recipe).

Tarte Flambee-ish, aux Champignons-ish

Trader Joe's has a couple of frozen items that I enjoy from the same manufacturer (Maitre Pierre): a "Tarte Aux Champignons" and a "Tarte d'Alsace," a take on tarte flambee/flammkuchen. I wanted to create something similar. I adapted a NYTimes recipe and used TJ's lavash. I added the mushrooms and cheese, so it's a complete recipe without it, just not what I'm trying to recreate.

Per 12x9 lavash:

Sauteed mixed mushrooms w butter, herbs

1/4 c creme fraiche

1/3 c fromage blanc (or more creme fraiche, sour cream, mascarpone, Greek yogurt, or a mix)

1/8 t nutmeg

1/2 t salt

pepper

2 strips/100 g thick-cut smoked bacon, finely chopped (about 2/3 c)

1/3 c finely chopped white onion

shredded gruyere and or emmentaler 

Preheat a baking sheet on a pizza stone at 425. (I didn't do this, and really wish I had). 

Mix dairy products, season. Smear on the lavash with a 1/2 inch border. Sprinkle on onions, bacon, mushrooms, and then cheese. Bake until top is browning and it is crispy, about 20 min. Serve warm.

The trickiest part may be getting it and keeping it appropriately crispy. I'd take the advise of the NYTimes recipe next time and pre-heat the dish. 

Worth trying again: shortcut honey cake

 This Rosh Hashanah, I wanted a quick honey cake and googled shortcut recipes using a cake mix. I used a recipe from the LA Times which produced a very thin liquid of a batter and a pretty dense, slumpy cake. I was disappointed when I took it out of the oven, but the eating experience actually mimicked other honey cake I've had and I liked the overall flavor better than many I've tried. 

Oven to 350. Prep a tube pan.

Mix dries:

1 15 oz vanilla cake mix (the recipe recommended Betty Crocker super moist French vanilla, so that's what I used)

2 t cinnamon

1/2 t salt

1/2 t ground allspice

Mix wets:

1 c honey

3/4 c oil

1/2 c orange juice (recipe called for 1/4 c oj and 1/4 c whiskey)

4 large eggs.

Blend dries and wets. Bake 45 min. Invert onto rack to cool. Make a powdered sugar glaze if you want.

MFK Fisher's "Greek" Artichokes

The last of the random Mother's Day recipes. This one represented me, being the 4th of the 6 recipes. It was the one I was the most nervous about, and in the end, maybe my favorite. It comes from MFK Fisher's "With Bold Knife and Fork." (MFK Fisher is a great favorite of mine.)

2 c or 1 lb package artichoke hearts (I used frozen, thawed)

1 scant cup craisins (recipe calls for black currants)

1 c dry white wine (I used cooking wine)

1/2 c vinaigrette

2 dashes tabasco (optional, did not use this time)

Rehydrate craisins in white wine and vinaigrette. Then mix all in small glass dish and cook gently, covered, until artichokes are tender, then let cool. Drain and chill, and then drain again before serving.

Pea and Mushroom Pilau

Another randomly-selected-recipe-for-Mother's-Day. I thought this pilaf, from the UK (hence 'pilau') cookbook "Best Ever Indian Cookbook" (Baljekar, Fernandez, Husain, and Kanani) was quite successful. 

2 1/4 c basmati rice

1 T oil

1/2 t cumin seeds

2 black cardamom pods

2 cinnamon sticks

3 garlic cloves, sliced

1 t salt

1 medium tomato, sliced

2/3 c white mushrooms

3/4 c peas

3 c water

Wash rice, soak for 30 min. Drain thoroughly.

Heat oil and add the spices, garlic, and salt. Add tomato and mushrooms, stir-fry 2-3 min. Add drained rice and peas. Stir gently, careful to not damage the rice. Add water, bring to boil. Lower the heat, cover, and cook for 15-20 min. Remove lid and fluff.

Risotto con la Verza e il Parmigiano (Risotto with Savoy Cabbage and Parmesan)

 Mom asked me to randomly select recipes to make for mother's day, so I used a random number generator to choose 6 recipes (one for each of her kids). I liked three, which seems like a fairly high batting average. This is from Marcella Hazan's "Marcella's Italian Kitchen."

3 T chopped onion

1/2 c pancetta cut into very thin strips

1 T oil

4 T butter

1 lb cabbage, shredded very fine

salt

2 bouillon cubes dissolved in 5 c water of 1 c canned beef broth diluted with 4 c water

1 1/2 c arborio rice

1/2 c parmesan

black pepper (didn't use this time)

Put onion, pancetta, oil, and 3 T butter in a heavy-bottomed pot. Turn eat to medium high. Cook, stirring frequently, until onion is light gold. Add shredded cabbage, a little salt, and turn with a wooden spoon a few times. Cover pot, and turn down the heat to medium. Cook, stirring from time to time, until the cabbage has become colored "a rich nut brown." (I foolishly didn't use the Savoy cabbage called for-- I think I used Napa-- and even after a really long time, I wouldn't call it a rich nut brown, but a sort of pale dead grass brown.) 

Bring the broth to a low simmer. Add the rice to the pot containing the cabbage, uncover, and raise heat to medium high. Stir the rice quickly and thoroughly with a wooden spoon, then add a ladleful of broth. Stir constantly, wiping away the rice from the bottom and side of the pot, until the broth has evaporated/absorbed. Add another ladleful, continue thus. When done, rice should be tender and toothsome and there should be enough broth that it is slightly runny. If you run out of broth before the rice is done, continue with water.

Add grated cheese and the remaining T of butter. Stir well and season. Serve immediately.

Retrenchment oatmeal cake.

 Adapted from cookingclassy.com

Cake

1 1/4 c boiling water

1 c (97 g) old fashioned rolled oats

1/2 c (113 g) butter, softened

1/2 c (105 g) packed light brown sugar

1/2 c (100 g) sugar

1 large egg

1 t vanilla

1 t cinnamon

1/4 t nutmeg

1 t baking soda

1/2 t salt

1 1/3 c (188 g) AP flour

Topping

1/4 c butter, melted

3 T milk

1/2 t vanilla

1/2 c (105 g) packed light brown sugar

1 c (85 g) sweetened shredded coconut

1/3 c chopped pecans

Oven to 350. Spray a 8x8 or 9x9 or 7x11 pan. Cover oats with boiling water and let cool. Whip butters and sugars until pale and fluffy. Mix in eggs, vanilla, and spices; then add soggy oatmeal. Mix dries, then mix dries into wets. Bake 30 min. Meanwhile, mix topping ingredients. When you take the cake out, pour the topping mix evenly over. Return to center rack and broil for a minute or so. (Watch it!) Cool for a bit.

Retrenchment pudding

Around the time I was being retrenched*, Mom made a retrenchment-themed dinner.** As one of two desserts***, she combined two Russian Cream recipes****.

Lisa C Kunz: (Pam's Julie Monson in parentheses)*****

3/4 c sugar (1 c)

1 envelope gelatin (1 T)

1/2 c water (hot)

1 c whipping cream (3 c)

1 1/2 c sour cream (2 c)

1 t vanilla (1/2 t)

In saucepan, mix sugar and gelatin. Add water, mix well. Let stand 5 min. Bring to full rolling boil, stirring constantly. Remove from heat, pour in cream. In med bowl, blend sour cream and vanilla. Then gradually beat in sugar mixture with wire whisk until smooth. Pour into individual molds or dessert bowls, 1/4 to 1/2 c per serving. Should make 12-16 servings. Cover and chill for at least 4 hours or overnight. Top with Danish dessert.

(Soften gelatin in hot water. Heat, but don't boil, cream and sugar. Add gelatin. Remove from heat and let cool till mixture stops steaming. Mix sour cream with vanilla, add to cream mix. Mix well and fridge in molds till set. 15 small servings.)

*Total replacement of sewer line.

**Inspired by a quote from Brigham Young to the Relief Society.

***Yes, BY included multiple desserts in his suggested retrenchment spread.

****I think BY's quote said blancmange, which is the same as Russian cream.

****These two recipes are from old newspaper clippings and you may wonder why I have included two recipes without putting them together and the answer is that I don't know how and I'm too embarrassed to admit it.

RebEatWorld (west coast style) Chow Mein

 I just made an enormous amount of enormously delicious chow mein. (Which, in the west coast style, is a stir-fried noodle with a sauce cooked down to cling, not crispy noodles.)

Mix in a small bowl:

2 T soy sauce

1.5 T oyster sauce (heaped 1 T)

1 T mirin

2 cloves garlic, crushed or minced

1 t ginger, grated

1 T sesame oil

Squort each: sriracha, maggi, fish sauce

White pepper, MSG, ushroom powder

Set water to boil for two 6 oz packages of chow mein (such as Sun Luck brand). When time comes to cook, cook on the short end of the recommended time (3 min for Sun Luck) and drain thoroughly.

While the water is coming to a boil, stir fry in oil:

1 onion, in thin wedges

then add 2-3 stalks celery, cut on diagonal

then add 1 bag coleslaw mix (cabbage & carrots) or equivalent (I added an additonal ~1/5 of a cabbage and ~1 c matchstick carrots, since they were on hand)

Cook this down with soy sauce and/or Maggi and season until it is nicely seasoned, but not QUITE as salty as you'd want it, but otherwise the textures you hope for in your finished product. Remove to a bowl.

Add oil to the skillet and stir fry noodles, adding the sauce after a bit and mixing it all around. Add to the veg in the bowl and mix it all up.

Decadent solo pancakes for Shrove Tuesday

These are true to the charter of Shrove Tuesday celebration: rich but finite.

Mix dries:

    40g AP flour

    1 1/2 t malted milk powder

    1 1/2 t baking powder

    1/8 t salt

Mix wets:

    1/4 c milk (I use 2% fat)

    1 large egg yolk

    1 T buttery flavored oil (as sold for popcorn)

    1/2 t vanilla

Mix wets into dries. The batter may seem runny, but whisk & wait and it will thicken. Heat griddle over medium heat and grease with a stick of butter. Cook pancakes!

Pan de Muerto

 This excellent recipe comes from Pati Jinich, host of Pati's Mexican Table on PBS. The recipe was published on King Arthur Flour's website: https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/pan-de-muerto-day-of-the-dead-bread-recipe

Starter

    1/2 c (113g) whole milk, lukewarm

    1 T instant yeast

    1 t sugar

    1/2 c (60g) AP flour

Dough

    2 T orange blossom water (or rose water or water)

    2 t grated orange zest

    1 1/2 t anise seeds

    3 1/2 c (420 g) AP flour

    1 t salt

    1/2 c (99g) sugar

    4 large eggs

    16T (226g) butter, cut into 1/2" cubes, at room temperature

Topping

    6T (85g) butter, melted

    1/3 c (66g) sugar, for dusting

1. To make the starter: In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the lukewarm milk, yeast, sugar, and flour. Stir with a whisk or fork, cover, and set aside until the mixture begins to bubble, about 20 to 25 minutes.

2. To make the dough: Add the remaining ingredients (except the butter) to the starter. Using the flat beater attachment, beat at low speed until everything is combined.

3. Scrape the bowl and beater and switch to the dough hook. Knead at medium speed for 10 to 12 minutes, stopping to scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed, until the dough pulls away from the sides and makes a slapping sound.

4. On low speed, add 3 tablespoons of the butter at a time, incorporating each addition before adding the next. Stop the mixer and scrape the sides of the bowl as necessary.

5. 1. Once all the butter has been incorporated, increase the speed to medium and beat for another 8 to 10 minutes, until the dough slaps against the bowl. It will be smooth, yet still a bit sticky; resist the urge to add more flour.

   2. Shape the dough into a ball and place it in a lightly greased bowl. Cover and allow it to rise until almost doubled, about 1 1/2 to 2 hours.

   3. Turn the dough out onto a lightly greased surface and gently fold it over on itself. Place the dough back into the bowl, cover, and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, or overnight.

   4. To shape the bread: Remove the chilled dough from the refrigerator and let it rest in a warm spot for about 30 to 45 minutes to come to room temperature.

   5. Line a large baking sheet with parchment.

   6. Portion off one-quarter of the dough (about 280g). Divide that quarter into two pieces (140g each). Set them aside.

   7. Divide the remaining three-quarters of the dough into two pieces (about 425g each). Shape each piece into a ball, then press down gently to make flatter rounds about 6” in diameter. Place the rounds on the prepared baking sheet.

   8. Divide each of the smaller pieces of dough into thirds (about 46g each), to make a total of six pieces. Shape two of the pieces into balls and roll the other four into ropes about 6” to 7” long. Pinch the ropes at intervals to make them look like bones.

   9. Place two of the “bones” over one of the large dough rounds, crossing them in the middle. Place one of the small dough balls in the center and press down firmly to anchor it as securely as possible.

   10. Shape the rest of the dough the same way you shaped the first loaf, making a second loaf.

   11. Cover the loaves and allow them to rise in a warm spot until doubled, about 1 to 1 1/2 hours.

   12. While the loaves are rising, preheat the oven to 350°F.

   13. To bake the bread: Bake the loaves for 20 minutes, until lightly browned on top. Open the oven and loosely cover both loaves with foil. Bake for another 20 to 25 minutes, until the loaves are fully baked and dark golden brown on the bottom and top, and their internal temperature is 190°F.

   14. Remove the loaves from the oven and let them cool slightly on the baking sheet, about 20 minutes.

   15. To top the bread: Brush the loaves with melted butter. Repeat a second time, brushing a section of the loaf with the melted butter and immediately covering that section with a generous amount of sugar, so the sugar sticks before the butter cools and dries.

   16. Continue buttering and sugaring the loaves section by section. Transfer them to a rack to cool completely before slicing.

   17. Storage information: Store the loaves, well wrapped, at room temperature for several days.

Udon for one that is as quick as ramen and only uses pantry things

Put on a pot of water to boil. 

Mix in a small bowl, not fussing too much over weights and measures:

1 T soy sauce

shy T oyster sauce

1/2 T mirin

1 t brown sugar or maple syrup

1/2 t rice wine vinegar

squort of sriracha

A minute or so before the water boils, set a skillet over med-high heat; heat with a small glug of oil + a smaller glug sesame oil.

When the water boils, put in 1 frozen brick of udon for just 1 min.

Transfer soba and sauce to the hot oil in the skillet and stir-fry it all up to a tight, clingy sauce.

Serve with a  generous dose of furikake.

Reb Roy Ramen

This is from the NYTimes recipe for "Perfect instant ramen."
My Korean friends did this when I was a kid-- but I have an American cheese prejudice, so I didn't think I'd like it. But American cheese isn't really exactly cheese, and that's important to this recipe. This isn't cheese-flavored ramen. Instead, the pasteurized process cheese product readily emulsifies with the broth to give it body and fat, almost to the point of seeming like a credible ramen broth. It's quite a neat trick.

I made it to the letter of Jeff Gordiner's transcription of the recipe. I liked it, but it was too brothy for me (I'm odd; I like a less brothy ramen); I wanted it saltier; and I could still taste just a bit more of the American cheese flavor than I would have liked. So I tried it again. I trimmed the 2 1/4 c water to 1 1/2 and cut the Kraft singles from 2 to 1. This solved all three problems-- less broth; less cheese per unit broth; and more flavoring packet per unit broth. I also don't find the described method of poaching the egg to work-- I have to keep it over heat and watch the egg set. Then I scoop the egg out and hover it over as I pour the noodles and broth over the cheese, butter, sesame seed, and scallion. Stirring everything to emulsify the cheese destroys the poached egg, and I like it whole.

boil 1 1/2 c water.
Add a packet of ramen noodles.
Cook 2 min. Meanwhile, put in your serving bowl:
            1 kraft single, torn up
            1 t butter
            1/2 t sesame seeds
            1 scallion, white and green parts, slivered
Add seasoning packet (roast chicken is good), stir, cook 30 sec.
Carefully plop in an egg. Don't stir, but you can fold the noodles up over it. Poach at least 1 minute, or until set.
Spoon out the egg. (Some noodles might come with it)
Pour the broth and noodles into your serving bowl and stir until the cheese is emulsified. Plop back in the egg and serve.

Yeasted bara brith

Beca Lyne-Pirkis represented her Wales home on The Great British Bake Off with this traditional bara brith. Then my friend Tamra repped it as her ancestral home at a vaccination celebration tea.

450 g /1 lb flour (bread or AP)

7g salt

20g/ 3/4 oz fresh yeast or 1/4 oz instant yeast

75g/ 2.5 oz butter, plus extra

50g/ 1.75oz brown sugar

2 t mixed spice

350g/ 12 oz mixed dried fruit, such as raisins, currants, sultanas, cranberries, cherries

1 egg

255 ml/ 8 fl oz strong warm tea (Tamra used Earl Grey)

oil, for greasing

for the glaze: 50 g /1.75 oz sugar + 50 ml/ 1.75oz water

Place flour, salt, and yeast into a large bowl and rub in butter to the texture of fine breadcrumbs. Mix in sugar, spice, and fruit until evenly distributed. Add egg and tea and bring mix together to form a dough. Knead until smooth. Cover it in the bowl with oiled cling film till doubled, at least 1 hr.

Preheat oven to 400 F. Grease a 2lb loaf tin.

Punch down the dough, shape it into the loaf tin. Cover and prove ~30 min. Bake in the center of the oven 20 min, then cover with foil and bake for 25 more minutes.

Turn out of the tin and cool for 20 min. Meanwhile, make the sugar syrup by bringing equal parts water and sugar to a boil and cooking till syrupy, then brushing the loaf with it. Cool before cutting, and serve plain or with butter.

Rhubarb Custard Pie

 More rhubarb, more custard, more Maine. This is from Jane Cleaves McKenna from Bowdoinham.

1 generous T butter

1 1/4 c sugar

3 eggs

1 generous T flour

2.5-3 c finely chopped rhubarb

pastry for a double crust pie

Preheat oven to 425. 

Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs, then flour. Beat well until smooth and creamy. Add the chopped rhubarb.

Bake in a latticed crust for 15 minutes, then reduce temp to 375 for 30-40 min more until nicely browned. Cool.

Grapenuts Pudding

 More from the Maine cookbook! I really like Grapenuts ice cream, and (weirdly) like pudding even better than ice cream most of the time.

This one is credited to Ada Foss Cobb of Monson, Piscataquis County.

4 eggs

1/2 c sugar

1 t vanilla

1/4 t nutmeg, + extra for sprinkling

3 c milk

1/4 c Grapenuts cereal

Beat eggs. Stir in sugar, vanilla, nutmeg, and milk, then stir in Grapenuts. Pour into a buttered baking dish and sprinkle with nutmeg. Bake in a water bath at 375 degrees for about (30) minutes and then turn the oven down to 350 degrees and bake until a knife comes out clean.

Prison commissary peanut butter fudge

I made this last July 14 on vacation in Massachusetts. The plan had been to go to Maine, but Covid derailed that. We made some Maine recipes anyway. This is from the Maine Bicentennial Community Cookbook and is credited to "State Prisoner Matthew." The recipe uses ingredients and tools available to the inmates. I thought it was delicious and had a fascinating texture (was it supposed to? I don't know, but ours did)-- soft/chewy fudge, but also kind of like a butterfinger with ribbons of crystallized sugar.

1 1/2 jars peanut butter

1/2 jar Fluff

1 - 1 1/2 c sugar 

1 bag M&Ms (maybe we used peanut butter M&Ms?)

Empty peanut butter and Fluff into a large bowl. Microwave until it starts to rise. Take it out and stir. Let sit. When cooler, mix in M&Ms, if using.

Pour a small amount of water in a separate bowl with the sugar. Mix. It should be thick. Microwave until it begins to boil. Take it out and stir for 10 seconds. Put it back in the microwave and let the sugar boil until it turns a golden brown sugar-- it should be at the point of crystallizing. I suppose you could also do this on the stove unless you're in prison.

Pour the sugar mixture into the PB/Fluff mixture. Quickly!! stir-- the fudge will begin to harden fast. After mixing well, pour into a greased pan (or if, in prison, a box lined with a trash bag). spread it out evenly with a spoon and press it down with a gloved hand. Let sit for 1.5-2 hours.

Sausage rolls

The inclusion of onion is not unusual in posted recipes, including those from Britain, but always seems controversial in the comments. ("There is NEVER onion in a sausage roll!"next to comments like "English person here. Feel free to mix it up with MANGO.") I like onion, so I'm keeping it.

1/2 large onion or 1 small onion, finely chopped

oil

1 lb sausage meat (such as Jimmy Dean sage flavored sausage)

2 eggs

salt, pepper

flour

sesame seeds or poppy seeds or everything bagel seasoning

1 sheet puff pastry 

Brown onion in a little glug of oil over medium heat. Let it cool, then mix with sausage meat and 1 egg in a large bowl. Season-- but remember the meat is already seasoned, you're just making up for 1 egg and the onion. So not much. I cooked off a bit to test it.

On a lightly floured surface, roll out the puff pastry to 8x12 inches. Cut into two long strips and lay them on a parchment paper-lined baking tray. Rest them in the fridge at least 10 min.

Dampen your hands. In the center of each strip of pastry, form the meat into a long cylinder right down the center, all the way to the edge. Lightly beat the other egg and paint it down the sides of each strip of pastry, off to the side of the meat. Fold the pastry over the top of the meat to form long rolls, and then turn it so it's seam-side down. Lightly brush the top surface with egg and sprinkle with seeds. You may chill them a bit to make them cleaner to cut. Cut the rolls into 1.5 inch lengths, or whatever suits your fancy. If you cut them longer, score the tops. Even if the cuts look messy they'll puff up when baked and be ok.

Bake in the preheated oven about 20 minutes, or until attractively browned.

Serve alone or with mustard, brown sauce/HP sauce, A1, ketchup, gravy, applesauce, beans, whatever.

Can mix it up by adding veg or strong cheese (like blue cheese) to sausage or painting pastry with mustard, hoisin, etc. Put torn sage over the top of the meat cylinder; we're told it fries and crisps up?

Do not re-heat in a microwave. Use the oven, toaster oven, or air fryer, or eat them cold or at room temperature like the Brits do on picnics, I'm told.

Tomato chutney and brie fried hand pies

 A friend hosting a post-vaccination tea party assigned me to make these, sausage rolls, and beans on toast. They were all good, though I don't think I'll make the bean recipe again. 

When I first ate one of these, I was a bit disappointed, and surprised that in all the process of making them I hadn't considered that they would taste like pizza hot pockets. But it is a sweet tomato sauce and melted cheese with bread, so OF COURSE it tastes like that. When I had my second, knowing what to expect, I enjoyed it much more and on its own terms. 

The recipe comes from the Hairy Bikers and the chutney is from James Martin.

For the chutney

1 T olive oil

1/2 shallot, chopped

1.5 tomatoes, chopped

1 clove garlic, crushed

1 T balsamic vinegar

1 t brown sugar

For the pastry

375g/13 oz self-raising flour

1/4 t salt

75g/2.5oz cold butter, in cubes

8 fl oz whole milk

To assemble

6 oz wheel brie (I could only find 8 oz, so I just snacked on what didn't fit)

oil for frying

Make the chutney: heat oil. Fry off shallots, tomato, and garlic 5-8+ min, till softened. Add vinegar & sugar and cook out for a further 3-5+ min or until the chutney has caramelized somewhat. (I might have cooked each step longer.)

Make the pastry: Add salt to flour in large bowl. Rub in butter with fingers to the texture of course breadcrumbs. Slowly add the milk, stirring constantly until mix comes together and forms a soft, spongy dough. Knead lightly and form into a ball. 

Roll half of the dough on a lightly floured surface to ~3mm. Cut three 5.5in diameter circles. (Dough can be re-rolled if you want). Repeat with other half to make six circles total.

Assemble the pies: Remove rind from cheese and cut cheese into 1 cm chunks. Spoon a heaped T chutney into the middle of each round and spread it out, leaving a 1cm border all around the edge. Place ~1 oz of cheese on one side of each circle. Brush the edges of the dough with a little water. Fold over to encase the feeling, push out air, and press the edges together. Seal well with a fork.

Heat 1 cm oil in a large skillet to ~300 F. Fry two pies at a time for about 2 min on each side, or until lightly browned and somewhat puffed. The cheese should ooze when the pie is cut open. Drain on paper towels. Cover with foil to keep warm. They can be re-heated in a hot oven for 10 min.